My computer just timed out as I sat here staring at the screen lost in thought, mulling over what to write, and so on. The word "bitter" just keeps floating through my head. I don't like that word. It's a sad and lonely word.
It's funny because now when people vent or complain to me they usually apologize and say something like, "well I know it's not as bad as what's going on with Will."
The "pre-Mito" Lori would have joined in the venting and agreed that the other person's situation really sucks and then we'd swap sucky stories, have a good laugh and then likely chase that laughter with a lovely sip of red wine.
The "post-Mito" Lori just wants to slap the taste out of that wine glass, hurl it through the window and laugh manically at how trivial everything feels in comparison to seeing my baby so happy and innocent and know the ugly truth of what's likely to come and then wonder when and how the ugly days will arrive.
But that's not fair to anyone, especially that delicious glass of wine!
The truth of it is so many other mommy's with special needs kids probably want to pull the "post-Mito" Lori attitude on me because they are IN the ugly days. Their babies have died or are perishing in a painful and cruel existence. And that's what helps me remember that every person has their own story and no matter how big or small, ugly or pretty that it's not fair to assess or compare someone elses problems to ours. And it's certainly not a productive use of time to dwell on it.
Bye bye bitter, you may return to me just as frequently as a child is born with mito and that's ok. I just wish that mito statistic would have worked out a little differently for us. Tomorrow I'll work on a "Positive Polly" post :-)
Will's 1st Birthday Party Celebration
Will's 2nd Birthday Party
April 24, 2012 - 3rd Birthday Party TBD!