Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mother's Day & Vacation

Happy Mother's Day...
Ok, so I'm a few days late, but we got back from vacation and it's been nuts since trying to get back into the swing of things and really not wanting to touch a computer.
I had a wonderful Mother's Day and the gift Will made at school was precious.

I love butterflies and him so it's a great match. We spent Sunday at my parents’ house with my mom/dad and sisters and their families.
I was chatting with a client Monday and she asked if I liked being a mom. I am honestly in love with being a mom. It's a rewarding, challenging, heart breaking, joyous and A LOT of work, but I couldn't imagine anything else.
Our little doctor

One thing I'm learning in a book I'm reading ("More than a Mom: Parenting a Child with Special Needs") is that I can't let kids take over who I am - I am who I am because of them, but that doesn't just make me just "Will's mom" or "Neil's wife" - in order for our lives to be balanced, I have to be "Lori" as well. Reading, getting a pedicure or even work makes me remember that I'm my own person and I have to make time to keep me me. But that I am forever changed because of my little angel.
It's an interesting balance and most days, like other normal moms, the scales tip towards our kids and husbands, house work, work etc. I just have to remember to savor and work towards securing a few glorious moments of "me" too.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you. A special prayer for those mom's who have lost a baby, can't have a baby, didn't have a baby and for those children who have lost their mom. Mother's Day can be quite bittersweet for so many.
Neil and I left for Cozumel on Sunday, May 6 and got back Friday the 11. It was a glorious escape from reality. We must have picked a stellar week to go because the hotel we stayed at was not anywhere near full capacity. Not only is the hotel's beach private, but because there were so few people there, Neil and I virtually had a private beach.
The only person we would see for hours was Edwin, our "cabana boy" haha. Edwin earned his keep because we picked a spot about as remote as you could and settled in with Sol, nachos, books and naps on the beach.

I thought it would be hard for me to relax, but it wasn't. I wasn't worried about Will (much). We rented a jeep and cruised around the island (very safe), went to town for dinner a couple of nights (thanks Ken & Janae for the Pepe's recommendation - so delicious we went twice).
I think it was just what Neil and I needed to recharge our batteries (if only it was that simple for Will). We didn't talk that much about Will's health, or what's to come. We just focused on enjoying ourselves and taking a break from all the crap. We also brainstormed baby names which was a fun, lighthearted discussion - a nice departure from all the medical conversations we have. No, we're not pregnant. LOL.

All in all, the vacation was amazing and Will was in one piece when we got home. Kudos to my parent's and Neil's parents for their vigilant and watchful eye while we were gone. I'm sure neither of them wanted Will to get sick on their watch and he didn't! :-)
In fact, I think he had more fun with them than he ever has had with us! Homecoming was incredible though. Will jumped up off the couch (as much as his little body can move) and I don't think he left my side the entire weekend. My little shadow was back and I loved every minute of it.
During our vacation I thought so many times to myself, "What am I going to do without him?" - it was like a small little hole in my heart started forming because I missed him (compared to the gaping hole that's already there). This time I got to come home and hold him, see him and play with him and eased that hole from growing. It crushes my soul to know that one day, I won't come home to him. Until then, we'll just keep keepin' on and enjoy our little bear.
Now, does anyone know where I can get a Houston cabana boy??  


  1. So happy for your relaxing vacation! So happy that Will had a great week with his grandparents! Double YAY!!

  2. Sounds like an amazing vacation- glad it was so relaxing and Will had a blast too! Praying for your heart...

  3. oooh...I hear that Cabana Boys 'R'US in Houston is having a big Memorial day sale, you should totally check it out! Happy Mother's day, from one frazzled(oh I mean Awesome) mother to another:)

  4. Wow, that place looks super amazing. I'm so glad you had a great vacation with Neil. I am continuously impressed with your thought process through this hell. You are so right that you need to be "Lori" too. I find myself defining who I am by being Milena and Vincent's mom and I imagine the special needs part just adds a whole other huge facet to that. You are so wise, mama. I like what Elizabeth said above about praying for your heart. I hate that you are dealing with this :( Hugs, friend.

    Those butterflies were cute! I was on the phone talking to my mom and I told her about them and I was like "Vincent made me some butterflies. At first I thought they were magnets but they aren't. I'm not really sure what they are for but they are cute." Vincent overheard and said, "mommy, they are for mother's day!" Oh, right. That's what they are for. HAHA. Thinking of you all the time. Are we gonna try to reschedule another night for drinks? I finish work on May 31st for two glorious months off. Holla at a lady!